no bitterness for my exes

if one
lives
long enough
one will
probably
survive
more than
one heart ache
if one
lives long enough
one will
probably
live
through more
than
a coupla
heart breaks
yet
one should be
thankful for
those heart aches
and heart breaks
without them,
the heart
never heals
or rejuvenates

this is
a big thank you
to each and every
woman
who has ever
loved me
a big thank you
for loving me
for your
caring showers
of good vibes
whether it is
you kj
cremated
eighteen months ago
after losing
that ever so
brief
battle with
cancer
that
surprised us
so much
appearing in one
so health conscious
and so young
or you jm
moving to the anglophone west
when the eastern francophone city
was not doing it for you
or you kk
with whom we share
the ongoing joy
of a growing boy
or you amg,
with your sharp intellect
and passionate attachment
or you ad,
my tanzanian beauty
from decades past
a big thank you
for coming
into my life
and making me
a better person

as men,
we come
into relationships
as unschooled boys
armed with little more
than our machismo
urban legends
and downloaded sexism
from our dads, uncles, cousins and friends
and when
we are lucky
we meet
one of you
who will
gently but firmly
shake those misconceptions
out of us
when we are lucky
you make us
mature much more quickly
than we would otherwise
do on our own
when we are lucky
we rediscover
our feeling function
our caring
predispositions
when we are lucky
we deepen our respect for women,
especially the ones
who have to
grapple
with the travails
of motherhood
on a daily basis

so
to all of you
i say
thank you
for making me
a better person
unfortunately,
it is another woman
who is reaping
the harvest
of your hard work
that is often, not always
the rueful, gruesome
ugly muddy ripple
that is left
in the pond
of human experience
when a rock of
irreconciable differences
has sunk yet another relationship

sometimes
you take
a rough diamond
and polish it
only for someone else
to claim it
as their crown jewel...

onyango oloo
montreal, thursday, may 20, 2004