on relationships

going out
with someone
is
an investment
it’s a pity
some people
treat it
as pure entertainment
that is
when
they don’t see it
as an internment
there are those
for whom
a relationship
is an abu ghraib
a dark place
where one is
tortured
and
humiliated
mocked,
paraded,
photographed
and degraded
constantly
for the
exclusive
cheap thrills
of their
over possessive
and narcissistic
sadistic
romantic
captors

going out
with someone
is a
commitment
it’s a pity
some people
treat it
with
straight up
pent up
simmering
and glowering
resentment
that is
when
they do not
view
their present
lover/
spouse/
live in companion/
whatever...
as a
cigar
cheroot
cigarette
or a big fat joint
to be smoked
hungrily
hastily
and secretly
before
lighting up
the very next one
fresh
from the shelves
and racks
of that downtown
meat market
where
prospective
serial
copulators
meet
brazenly
and consistently
to fib
spinning fables
odes
epics
sagas
and other
mythological
phantasmagoric
urban folklore
about their
blue blood
biographies
raunchy sexual histories
and inflated
pretentious and pompous
resumes
to strangers
they want to
bone and shag
even as these
strangers
weigh them too
on the scales
of mutual deceit

there are those
for whom
a relationship
is a mathare mental hospital
where
they use
their present partners
to exorcise
the demons of
the last boyfriend
or the last girlfriend
rebounding
constantly
between
fake orgasms

going out with someone
is a full time job
a life long
learning experience
of getting
to know the person
whose bad breath
you will wake up next to,
hopefully
everyday
that is
if you are not
like some of us
marooned
in a long distance
relationship
the geographical
dimensions of which
we hope to
erase drastically
and sooner
rather than
eventually

going out
with someone
is like
tending
a garden of
hopeful seedlings
from the day of
the first planting
to the afternoon
of the golden harvest

love made concrete
must anticipate
the occasional tiffs
and emotional outbursts
a door
slamming shut
in livid anger
a slew of
paranoid
unsubstantiated
accusations of
conjugal infidelity
used to justify
the surreptitious
cracking open of
email passwords
and voice mail firewalls
to retrieve non existent
juicy details
of the other person
feared precisely
because of the neurotic delusion
that accused partner
is having an imaginary fling....


love made concrete
must
transcend
the mealy mouthed
rumour mongers
love made concrete
must overcome
the vicious
empty headed
gossip
love made concrete
must
transcend
the mean-spirited
snide remark artists
and the callous
udaku,
usabasi,
unafiki,
ujinga
purveyors
of anti-relationship
guided missiles
programmed and aimed
by resentful freaks
waiting and waiting
for another relationship
to explode or implode
so that doomsayers
get another chance
to mass email, cross post
and digitally flood
the entire universe
with some shallow gossip

relationships
can be
potent
organic aphrodisiacs
replenished
every morning,
every afternoon
every evening
and every midnight
with constant
reaffirmations
of simple
words
like
honey,
i love you, still
baby
you do look fabulous
and adorable
in that
exquisite dress
chou-chou
who
did your hair,
it blows
out of the water
anything
princess diana
or eve the rough ryder
ever tried
mshikaji,
come here
i want to
hold you
i want to
touch you
and
i want to
kiss you
slowly, ever so slowly
and softly...

not everything
about a relationship
needs to end up
in the advice column
of the local alternative weekly
nor does it need the
urgent attention
of your long term
therapist-counselor
aka
the ever so eager ears
of your best friend
on the
other end
of the telephone line
not everything
about a relationship
needs to end up
in the public gossip
spaces and places
otherwise known as
the weekend parties
or the chat rooms
of this,
that
or the other
online community forum...

stop
reading
this poem
and
go
and
work
on
your
relationship….


wednesday, may 26, 2004