someone told me to whisper in your ear

someone
who saw the poems i wrote
for you
and placed over here
together with my other writings
rushed to me
blushing
from head to toe

she said
i know you are in love
i know you love your woman
i know it feels special

but, she asked
don't you think
you cheapen the sentiment
by telling the whole world about this
but she said, how special are those words
if every prying eye sucks them in voyeuristically

and i could see where she was coming from
now i agree with her on something
i am not about to flash my genitals
or your pudenda on a webcam installed in our bedroom
capturing our every grope and fumble
i agree with her there

i wanted to ask her
why painters immortalize their loved ones on canvass
i wanted to ask her
wanted to ask her why choreographers design dance moves
that speak to their sensual appreciation of the way their lovers walk
i wanted to ask her all these questions
but i did not
instead i wrote this poem

i wanted to ask her
why poets publish volumes of love poetry
inspired by and dedicated to living and breathing lovers
i wanted to ask her why songwriters compose lyrics
attesting to their love
i wanted to ask her all these questions
but i did not
instead i wrote this poem

i wanted to ask her what she is to do with a shy man
who has finally lost his inhibitions
to express intimate thoughts
which once upon a time scared him shitless
i wanted to ask her what message i should listen to
tell her you love her as often as you can
or keep it perfunctory
i wanted to ask her which side to err on
prevailing moral mores
or seething passionate feelings
i wanted to ask her all these questions
but i did not
instead i wrote this poem

dearest
the only verdict i care for is yours
i could not have dared to share this without talking to you
when you eagerly took down the url and promised to bookmark and forward it around
i knew that i did not have to worry...

i wanted to ask her if there was only one way of expressing love
and i did

but there were all these other questions
i wanted to ask her
but i did not
i wanted to ask her
but i did not
i wanted to ask her
but i did not
i wanted to ask her
but i did not

instead i wrote this poem
instead i wrote this poem
instead i wrote this poem

onyango oloo
9:42 am, thursday, may 20th, 2004